I will be forty at the beginning of November. Lately I’ve been thinking about what this birthday means to me. Much of what has happened over the last fifteen years of my life has resulted in a search for understanding. Over these years, I found myself struggling with what it means to be this way in my head. I searched for meaning in my inner world to understand who I am. Sometimes we get so caught up in research that we forget that a big part of life is about letting go.
I have often heard it said that life begins at forty. There is something about striving, chasing, and needing to be seen that is so inherent to our younger years. I spent the first twenty years of my life following rules that I thought would give me peace, security, and acceptance, only to discover that I could achieve a lot while still feeling lost. I have come to a point where I can see this lifestyle for the trap that it is and recognize what I had to give up to participate in this kind of society. These days I try to live by my own rules.
Today I share my thoughts on turning forty next month and the lessons that form the foundation of what I have learned over the past forty years.
I always find these pieces of content really inspiring to read. Inner wisdom is like a launching pad for moving in the right direction. I hope this article resonates with you.
On Turning 40 and the Best Lessons I’ve Learned in 40
1. Trusting your instincts takes practice. Sometimes it’s listening to your gut, often over and over again, that helps you understand how to trust it. If your gut instinct is screaming no, don’t continue (yes, even if it does). the day before your wedding).
2. Life is meant to be lived. Enjoy as many foods, flavors and fun times as possible. Go to the show, wear bright colors, and head towards whatever attracts you.
3. Connection is an elixir for many of the questions you have about the meaning of life. When you find yourself thinking, What’s the point?remember it’s not just about you.
4. Most of the things you do are about feeling happy, being safe, and trying to survive. When you recognize this, you begin to realize that it’s not really about getting the house, the job, or the money.
5. We are all incredibly creative, but it takes courage to let this part of ourselves out. Be brave.
6. Live the season you are in. If it’s tomato season, eat a tomato. If it’s a season of rest, rest more often. Treat yourself to more of what you need most in every season of the year and every season of life. This approach is a wonderful way to find presence.
7. You are not something to be punished. Don’t punish your body by restricting the things it needs. Don’t punish yourself for success.
8. Whenever possible, do the hard things. Do it as soon as possible. There are times when you won’t have the strength to follow through on this, but you need to be able to recognize the difference between when you need to give yourself grace and when you need to pull yourself together .
9. Don’t let others talk you out of things you know to be true., even though they are incredibly convincing. People who try to talk you out of doing something big and scary are often just afraid for you. It’s their own thing.
ten. Invite people to your house without worrying about how it will be received. Life is too short to waste your energy on the impossible task of trying to control other people’s opinions of you.
11. Be aware of your bubble. Talk to people who aren’t like you, especially if you find yourself judging others or feeling like they are “wrong” or “bad.”
12. Buy clothes that are comfortable on your body. Don’t think about size, it doesn’t matter.
13. When you’re ready to burn shit, ask for what you need. Usually it’s because you’re hungry, thirsty, tired, need a shower, or need a few deep breaths.
14. Writing things down and making a plan, even if it’s vague, is crucial. If you do this at night, you will feel so much better the next day.
15. The worst case scenario rarely happens. You think about it because you want to be prepared in case it happens, but all it does is put you in a prolonged state of worry.
16. Don’t force anything. If the thing doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit. This applies to everything: partnerships, jobs, friendships and more.
17. Movement is crucial. You always feel better after dancing or taking a walk.
18. Shame is something that many people use to try to control others and keep them small. Learn to recognize it. You are not required to subscribe to it.
19. Don’t suppress big emotions. Let yourself cry. Let yourself laugh.
20. We learn most of the important things in life when we are children when we have an innate sense of curiosity about the world. We are open to new ideas. We have fewer beliefs about “how things should be.” It is so easy to lose this vision as we grow up. Don’t do it.
21. Surround yourself with beauty. Always.
22. Be honest with yourself about how you are doing in your own way.
23. It’s not your job to make other people comfortable. The bad moods and bad behavior of others often have nothing to do with you.
24. It is also It’s not your job to fix people.. It’s not your job to judge, ridicule, or assume you know what they’re going through.
25. The act of practicing gratitude has a profound impact on your mental health.
26. Late blooming is a wonderful thing. Don’t be afraid of it.
27. Sleep is crucial. Protect your rest.
28. Enjoy the things you brought into your home. Use the nice candles. Turn off the pretty covers. Set the table with the right dishes. What are you waiting for?
29. Don’t be online all the time. Spend time offline and spend time alone.
30. You can’t necessarily use therapy to believe in yourself. You have to face yourself and introduce yourself consistently in order to build that kind of trust.
31. There’s a reason why listening to music makes you feel something. Putting on a good playlist allows you to feel at home in your body.
32. There comes a time when you have to let go of the difficult things that have happened to you in order to move forward. You won’t make sense of it, but you will get a feeling of freedom from it.
33. Lighting makes all the difference. Do not use overhead lights. Put dimmers on everything. Never buy daylight bulbs.
34. True connection always requires vulnerability. Show up with the intention of being true to yourself and giving of yourself, without trying to control what people think of you.
35. Don’t be afraid of discomfort. It’s often a gift: use it.
36. Everything passes.
37. Get dressed every day makes you feel better-especially when you’re relaxing into your unique sense of style. For someone who has always felt bad about themselves, this is a nice surprise.
38. Truly honest people are very rare. This doesn’t mean you can’t trust people. Trust that people have the best intentions, but don’t put yourself in a situation where they could take advantage of you.
39. You are capable of more than you think. Most of what you want takes courage, which means you have to feel fear and trust yourself as you achieve it.
40. Forty years is not old. There is still time for you to be who you want to be. There is still so much time left to enjoy this life. The biggest thing I fear when I think about getting older is looking back and feeling like I blinked and everything was gone. I want to move forward into the next decade and beyond with my eyes wide open, enjoying every moment that presents itself.
PS If you liked this article, read this article from last year next: “39 Personal Truths About Life I’ve Learned Over 39 Years.”